Friday, March 11, 2011

Lenting 3: Healing

A couple, few post back i gave an update on my move from the Springs to Concord. Needless to say, so much has happened!! So much.

And honestly I feel as though i've had nothing to do with it, and every reason to say thank YOU. Some depth to that statement is this though. I hurt. I am healing.

What hurts?
Loss down right hurts. Losing the nearness and closeness of my friends geographically and relationally hurts. I miss my friends. I wish I could hug them, have dinner with them, and let them know how much they are loved. Many times (due to time or the ebb of life) i'm left only able to pray. Wow this breaks me to think it's enough.

My feet. God's blessed me with two jobs! Panera Bread offered me a job the same day the Wine Room asked for an interview. They both offered me a job where I serve all day. It's great. It's fun. I'm exhausted. My feet hurt. I'll do it again tomorrow.

Giving my heart (even if it is a little) and "things not working out." I quote because though those are my words...they aren't God's. "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes." Romans 8:28.

Hurting. Maybe that's obvious, but I really mean I hate hurting others. Intentionally and unintentionally alike. I hurt feeling like I can't say the right things to my family without sounding judgemental or rude. I hurt after dropping salad dressing all over the cooler at work and knowing i'm not helping my team in doing so. It's a mistake, but I don't like messing up. Especially in a job that's not that difficult. On a positive note, the cooler did smell rather nice afterwards! :)

What heals?
Prayers. I don't know who you are praying for me, but God hears you.

Prayers. There is fear in the Lord. There is peace. There is comfort and safety in being with Him. There is joy and there is frustration as well. Being with God has made me weak, but strong. Weak in me. Strong in Him.

New and Old friendships here. I forget quickly that I am just meeting a few of the friends I have here. I'm so used to talking openly and freely with me friends from CO. Here I need more wisdom (maybe that would have been useful there :) ) and understanding to filter and to share.

Parents. Sure, yours could be considerably great too, but I really have to admit that I have amazing parents. I told dad that I felt bad because I have had MANY mood swings since being home. Not necessarily bad, but just obviously wrestling with a lot of stuff. Mom and Dad see it. Mom and Dad love me as though they didn't. They simply love.

Jesus. 4 years ago Jesus saved me. No lie, His wounds heal me today. Yours too. His sacrifice is real today in me.

Jesus, why do you care so stinking much?

Isaiah 53:4-5
Surely He took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered Him punished by God, stricken by Him, and afflicted. But He was pierced for our transgressions, crushed for our sins; the punishment that brought us peace was upon Him, and by His wounds we are healed.

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