Friday, February 19, 2010

trailing thoughts...and a new job

You ever have those moments that you want to remember more often? Moments that remind you to appreciate, or how much you are thankful, or the gift of being forgiven, or how good it is to laugh.

I lack in remembering. Never in my life would I have thought that I would say this, "but it is so nice to be at home...even if I am alone." Ahhh. Home.

Snow is slowly covering the streets just like it's covered lots of other homes and bushes. It seems like if I took time like this more often, it would help me to appreciate the gift of life more. Appreciate how nice it is to have a warm home (granted, I understand warm is relative), and just think. Think or not think. Ha.

I need to and want to think. This past Monday I put in my two-week notice at work. This has been so hard for me to grasp. Why am I leaving? What was the purpose of the 15 months that I was at TSM with Jon? God, why are you moving me to a different job? Why do I feel sad? Is it okay that I feel sad and excited, and nervous, and fear?

I know that I shouldn't fear. I know that "God did not give us the spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind." (2 Tim. 1:7) I get that. So my hope is that God will help remove my fear. The fear that makes me scared of failure, scared of new things, scared of commitment, scared of new relationships that will allow people to know me, and scared of not knowing what this new job will look like. I need God's love and grace in my life. I need Him in His fullness to fill me (Eph 1:23). Because He is love (1 John 4:8,16). And Perfect love cast out all fear (1 John 4:18).

I have to connect the dots and remember His promises. Like I said I am so forgetful. I'll forget before I finish this post.

The reality is that I can hardly believe that I have this opportunity. I'll be working with a child sponsorship organization called Mission of Mercy, a part of a team that helps with the communication between the child and the sponsor. What a treat. Wow. Seriously wow.

When I went on my interview there were packages from other countries holding letters from children. Wow. Wow. God, You are so amazing. I can't wrap my mind around His love for us.

1 comment:

Lana Joy said...

Isn't is so reassuring, though, to know that Israel forgot too. Over and over, seemingly the day after God did some fantastic miracle in front of the whole nation. And yet, they are still his people and he chose them, just like he has chosen us. No matter when, how often, or how long we forget, he won't. And I just LOVE that.

Thanks for your thoughts, sister. I love you.